vacation,etc...

so we just got back from our vacation to tn yesterday. It was fantastic. I came home feeling fresh minded. I'll shorten the experience and save most of the details except for the really cool ones. Prettiest things we saw would have been the smoky mtns, mingo falls, cumberland gap, new found gap, and the entire town of cherokee, NC was amazing. I danced with indians, sampled wine @ an amazing winery until I was good and giggly. We sat in the hot tub @ our friends house a couple of nights. I had a few firsts including tasting vinegar pie, real moonshine, riding a mechanical bull, and a motorcycle. I enjoyed all but the vinegar pie which wasn't even as bad as I had guessed it to be, lol. We went to davey crockett tavern which was pretty cool. All in all, great vacation and good times! The trip was really hard on the boy(trucker). He's developed a serious issue with traveling since we have gotten out of rv transport. He totally has panic attacks in the car so you can imagaine what a 750 mile trip one way is like for him. Poor baby. He's exhausted now.

We returned yesterday to some very sad news. A lady who lives a few miles south of here backed over her 4 yr old daughter and killed her. It was accidental. This is heart wrenching news. People who are believers always find some sort of silver lining in everything and when good happens, they come up with something like "see, miracles happen everyday"...which is true. But explain why the loss of that little girl will ever be ok. Explain to that mother how she can go on with the guilt she must feel. Explain to the family that god is good.(I'm not debating god is good, I'm debating the existance)...I just can't even imagaine. I feel so bad for the family.

I had a few moments on vacation of sadness thinking about how I should be nearing birth. I should have the nursery done. I should be preparing to hold our baby in my arms. Its killing me. So in a way, I guess vacation was bittersweet. Believe me I'd traded the vacation, the bull riding, the drinking, basically anything in my life to be nearing that point. But I'm not. So I try to put it behind me. But I have a feeling the next couple of weeks with the edd approaching are going to be kinda sad for us.

I've got plants I've drug all the way from Tn and I gotta get them in the ground before they completely wither away. maybe tomorrow. The weather is truely fall here now and I think for the first time in my life I'm looking forward to winter this year. Not really the cold, just the ability to let go of gardening, I'm tired of mowing, tired of being unable to get inside projects like painting done because I'm outside so much working. Moreso this year than of any year of the past. Since spring of this year it seems like one big outdoor project after another. I need to be able to curl up with a good book, get some indoor projects done. Wind down.